Grieving at the Circus
Living with a chronic condition is a constant process of re-imagining. Re-imagining what your career might look like, what your family will look like, what role you can play in your relationship with your partner, friends, family. Re-imagining the plans for your day when sickness changes it's course. Re-imagining outfits that will make you feel confident, but are easy enough to put on that you at least have energy to leave the house and people can see said outfit!
As part of my R and D, my week working with Vicky Amudume exploring aerial was empowering and also surprising. Even after living with Chiari for 10 years, I was still surprised at how easily my body can be destabilised. It's left me in a place of wondering how limited my options are for varied performance styles. I just never considered this would be something I would have to re-imagine. The world isn't my oyster. I know, aerial isn't the only movement option out there.. but it's so pretty!! ha. This film of me testing thing's out on the cacoon by Jaha, really made me realise there is so much richness in vulnerability and softness, it's okay not to master everything.